If It's On Facebook, It's Official!

Little did I know that while I blogged on New Year's Day 2 little lives were already forming inside of me...

I don't know what it is about babies but they happen to you. You can try as hard as you can to make them, but these little gifts from God only come to you when they are ready. As hard as it was for me to accept this because almost every friend was popping out a little bub without even trying, I think I came to terms with it after I posted that New Year's blogpost. I was ready to press Play on my life that was Paused for a while.

I had it all planned out, I was going to do this, learn this, perform this, teach this, and then a couple of days later we found out that I was pregnant. I cried, he cried, my mom cried, my dad cried, heck even my sister cried not because I told her but because she kinda guessed and cried in case it was true.

Yes, we were very happy and very excited. I was going to embrace this pregnancy, glow and radiate like a firefly, I mean, I wanted this for so long right? My mom kept asking me if I felt any nausea and I was all, "No, mom. I feel great, I don't feel anything at all..." 

Then 2 days later I fell sick with a fever and sore throat and the nausea nightmare began.

I'm one who rarely falls sick so when I do it gets quite ugly. So I didn't realise that my nausea troubles had begun till my fever and sore throat went away and I noticed that I was still throwing up everything I ate. It was horrible. I realised I couldn't stand the smell of my own bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, fridge, clothes detergent, shampoo, I couldn't even stand the smell of my own husband. :( A smell I used to love by the way.

It was bad. None of my friends experienced nausea this bad so I did not know what to expect. All my mom kept saying was, you'll see, you'll see, which really did not help at all.

Now that I have just turned 14 weeks, I feel like the nausea has eased up a lot. It was progressive but now I can eat a meal without wanting to run to the nearest bathroom, I can even drink a couple of sips of water (something I could not even do earlier). I think I kinda know what triggers my nausea but I've heard that it's different for everyone. Can you believe this? Women have been pregnant for centuries and we haven't found a cure for morning sickness yet! There are medication of course, which I was taking for a while, but I wasn't too comfortable with the idea of taking something to subside a completely natural symptom so I weaned myself of the meds and just tried eating whatever I felt like eating. It came to a point where I just hated eating altogether, something I have never experienced my entire life.

So, as excited as I was to stand on a cliff and shout out "I'M PREGNANT" to the entire world, I kept mum (haha, geddit?) till we heard the heartbeats. Ok, here's the thing. When I went in for my first scan, we only saw one yolk sac. Only when we went in to hear the heartbeat for the first time  we found 2 little embryos and we had the shock of our lives! I couldn't believe it. After that we decided to tell our parents, friends and family members. I loved telling everyone because it felt like I was playing an awesome hand of poker. I mean people were already so happy to hear that I was pregnant, but when I upped the news by saying that we were having twins, people just lost it!

So, I didn't want to do the whole facebook thing of posting a photograph of my ultrasound because half the time people just don't understand what they're looking at so I kept things understated and kept people guessing till I posted a recent photo of a little bump that seems to be growing everyday.

Now, that it's on Facebook, I guess it's safe to say it's Official!

I'm pregnant with a set of twins!

2012, The Quiet Year

I don't know what it is about every new year that fills all of us up with hope. Hope for change, hope for better things to come, hope that this year will be the best year yet. I haven't blogged since March 2012 mostly because I felt like I had nothing to say.

To be honest, I was hoping that we could start a family and welcome a new addition only to realise that life does not always happen the way you want it to. I have literally put my life on hold thinking that every month was going to be 'THE' month. So much so, the entire 2012 flew past without much for me to boast about. 

However, in the middle of the year, I happened to bump into an old friend at a Pasar Malam (night market) in Bangsar and the universe threw me an opportunity to get back into the arts. I had the privilege of working with a group of children that I can safely say changed my life. I did not see them every weekend, in fact I spent only 20 hours over the span of 6 months through movement workshops and gave them a little taste of Odissi. But the evolution of these little people from the first session I had with them was remarkable. I sat through the entire production of the Bites of Delights with tears of pride and joy running down my face because the kids were really that good. The entire show did not only entertain me, it gave me hope that maybe there is a chance that our future generation can continue to contribute to the arts in Malaysia. That the talent pool still runs deep and that there are selfless, nurturing artists in Malaysia who can bring out the best in our kids. 

I grew up watching any show my mom read about in the papers. Theatre, dance, broadway, you name it and my mom took me there. She didn't just take me to international productions brought to KL, she took me to many, many local productions. I grew up watching Lena Ang, Joseph Gonzales, Ramli Ibrahim, Faridah Merican, Marion D' Cruz and many many more. I learnt how to appreciate good art just by sitting in a theatre and getting lost in the world of art. I think that is the best way to learn. I hate it when people say that they don't go to an art exhibition or contemporary dance performance because they don't understand. If you don't understand, shouldn't that be even more reason to watch more? 

We need to encourage each other to open up our minds and think. We need to challenge each other and argue and debate. We need to instill this culture in our youth because sure as hell our education system needs to change and it can only change if we change ourselves.

Another opportunity I had last year was to work closely with Teach For Malaysia. I was so humbled from my experience during Teach For Malaysia Week that I took on the role of a selection specialist and got the chance to conduct interviews for the next cohort of Fellows. It was no easy task, we would go through 100 to 200 online applications, conduct five to six 30 minute phone interviews everyday. The entire selection process lasted around 3 months and I have to say that I am so proud to know that there is an organisation out there trying to make a change in the Malaysian education system.

Just before the end of the year I had the opportunity of working with the renowned Pat Ibrahim and one of the most beautiful dancers in Malaysia, Suhaili Michelin. It all started with a Facebook message which transformed into an email and then a meeting in Starbucks and culminated in a duet for the Agong, Permaisuri Agong and even Michelle Yeoh. Sometimes if you ride a wave you come out the other side really impressed that you took it on in the first place.

Phew! I guess 2012 was not that quiet after all. In between all of that we moved into our first house together, travelled through Turkey and had a beautiful family holiday in London. Here's to better things in 2013. I am going to blog more, dance more, love more and laugh more.

Cappadocia, Turkey Aug/Sept 2012

Lows in London Oct 2012

Our Sanctuary

Japamala

Two weeks ago, I woke up on a Monday morning desperate for a beach holiday without even realising the last holiday we had was my dance tour of the Netherlands last October. So I got to my computer and started Googling places we could go for the weekend. I didn't want to do our usual Port Dickson getaway so I narrowed it down to Pangkor Laut Resort, Tanjong Jara in Trengganu and Japamala in Tioman.

Don't mistake me for a tai tai that only likes to stay in hoity toity places because I am NOT! In fact every holiday we've had since we started travelling together has been a backpacking, rough guide sorta holiday, so don't start judging me! :P

So I did my research, as usual, compared all the prices, packages, photographs and decided that if we going to spend that amount of money, I wanted to spend it on a place that was different. Because we were so last minute we had to drive to Mersing and do the ferries, etc and because dear ol hubby didn't want to waste the day, since there were only 3 ferries from Mersing at 5am, 1pm and 2pm, we left Kuala Lumpur at midnight to catch the first ferry out.

  I was slightly worried about driving so late at night, ok that's an understatement. I was extremely stressed out the entire drive till we reached the jetty. It didn't help that we had to drive over 200km through a FELDA estate in pitch black surroundings, I had so many stupid thoughts playing in my head and I never once looked at the rear view mirror. Who knew what I would've seen?

However, now that we've driven the distance, I now know that it's best to fly! Going there wasn't so much the problem but coming back was a whole journey on its own. It's quite simple getting to Japamala, all you need to do is drive to Mersing, hop onto a Bluewater Express ferry and stop at Kampung Genting and then a boat from the resort will pick you up and bring you to the resort, upon your request of course. 

Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Now, coming back you'd think that it would be the exact same thing in reverse right? But what happens if the ferry is late? You're then transported from a lush, luxurious resort to the main jetty of Kampung Genting, surrounded by a whole bunch people (the kind that smoke and throw their ciggie butts, twistie packets, etc in the ocean) and sitting in the hot hot sun waiting for a ferry that may never even arrive. WAS.NOT.FUN. 

So trust me, if you want to got to Japamala, please please fly.

We arrived at the resort at 6.30am and it was too dark to see anything. Luckily, our room was available for us so we checked in and slept. Woke up to a beautiful setting and headed to the beach...and had the most beautiful 3 days in a very long time.

The sky on the day we arrived, didn't look too promising but thankfully was
proven wrong.

The ever so popular sea cliff chalet.

Our first sunset here...

Turn down Hershy Chocolates on our pillows...

Where we spent all our days instead of fighting for a cabana because the view was better, easier to jump into the water for snorkelling and where the booze and food was!

All in all Japamala was what we needed to re-connect, rejuvenate and relax. 

www.japamalaresorts.com