My Lourdes Experience...

For the longest time whenever someone asked me what religion I was I'd say, Roman Catholic, and complete the sentence with "a bad one..." Be it Catholic guilt whatsoever, but I was always told that if you didn't go to church every Sunday, you were indeed, a bad Catholic.

Now that I am older and more comfortable in my own skin, I omit the bad Catholic part. Because, what really is a bad Catholic? I highly doubt that not attending mass regularly immediately puts you on the "bad" list. I think that if you were a bad Catholic, it would probably mean you were a bad person on the whole regardless of what religion you are.

I have always been curious about religious rituals that many of my friends from different religious backgrounds practice and I am proud to say that I have tried every practice at least once. Be it fasting the entire month of Ramadan, to abstaining from meat during the Navaratri week and even walking from Lebuh Ampang all the way to Batu Caves carrying a Pal Kudam (milk pot).

Being born into a Catholic family, I must confess that I have never embraced my inherent religion until now. Maybe because I've married a Catholic man and if/when we have kids I'd like to raise them with the same values that my parents instilled in me. I love attending mass with my family because as cliched as it sounds, a family that prays together stays together.

Which brings me to write this post about my experience in Lourdes. People say that if you are meant to visit Our Lady of Lourdes, you will somehow find yourself heading towards the beautiful town. I've also heard so much about the miracles that happen there and once again, I was curious.

Be it a temple or a sacred tree, I've always found myself to be rather sensitive to feeling the energy of a particular place. There have been a few instances when I am performing in a temple or ashram in India and I am reduced to tears just because of the powerful vibrations present. So for a change, I wanted to visit a Catholic pilgrimage site just because I have never done so in my life and during this year's Lent I made a vow to abstain from meat the entire 40 days for the first time. So I felt like I did enough penance to permit me to visit these holy grounds. (Notice the Catholic guilt again?)   

I planned the trip so that I'd be able to spend my birthday in Lourdes. I particularly wanted to start the day with the famous bath in their pools because what better way can you celebrate your birthday? So we made our way from Bordeaux by train and arrived on the 22nd of August. 

After checking into a very basic Hotel Marial we immediately headed to the sanctuary of Our Lady of Lourdes (this is where I had a Eureka moment and realised that Notre Dame means "Our Lady"). Not being a part of any Church group, it was a little confusing at first but we managed to find out exactly where the Grotto was, the pools to dip in, the different churches, chapels and basilicas were. 

As we passed the area where the pools were, hubby was very lucky to have been pulled into the line and managed to have a dip on the very first day in Lourdes. I, on the other hand, was not so lucky. The women's line into the area was closed as they had a very long queue of ladies waiting to go in. So I waited, and waited and waited some more for hubby to be done and during that time I remember very clearly what I was feeling. First, I am embarrassed to admit that I felt angry. I was angry because I really wanted to dip in the pool and I felt I deserved to be at least allowed in to wait in line because I have come all the way only to be told that the pools were full. My anger then faded and I told myself that everyone here had the same intention. As I was cooling off, a teenage girl stood next to me and spoke on her handphone saying "Yea, I just did the water thingy...yea...it was ok." That sent me back to my angry place, which faded soon enough and morphed into disappointment. As hubby emerged from the pools I couldn't mask my disappointment. But he said, "Don't worry bee. You just weren't meant to do it today. Didn't you say you wanted to do the bath on your birthday?" So with that hope in my heart, I felt better and decided to look forward to my dip tomorrow. 

We then headed to do the Stations of the Cross something I have only done once in my life many, many, many years ago. I decided to focus my energies on a very dear friend's 8 year old cousin who is suffering from Leukemia. (Another reason, I felt my visit to Lourdes was apt, because he was diagnosed shortly before I left to France) So I completed the 14 Stations of the Cross and felt completely rejuvenated. 

As you enter the grounds, you will find these boards with the "Our Father" in  every language.

Luckily I did a bit of research before heading to Lourdes because I found out that at 9pm there would be a Torchlight Marian Procession. My knowledge of this procession was that it was going to be beautiful and everyone would be holding a candle. But after seeing what the entire procession was about, beautiful was an understatement. My breath was taken away when I saw hundreds of thousands of people holding candles and via a PA system, we were all led through the rosary in every different language. 

Lourdes, known for about 67 miracle healings, is visited by many sick people. Once here, they are either placed in wheel chairs or hospital beds and attended to by volunteers. As you can see in the photograph above and below, they are placed at the front of the Marian Procession. 

After the procession, we rushed to the Grotto, which was the cave where St. Bernadette saw the apparitions of Mother Mary. This was also where she discovered the spring, from which miracles have occurred by bathing or drinking the water from it. As I exited the grotto, I glanced at the famous Lady of Lourdes statue and was reduced to tears. I then just sat on the floor and stared at Our Lady and an overwhelming sense of compassion washed right over me. I asked her to forgive me and to bless everyone I knew with strength to overcome any obstacles that may come their way. I especially asked her to watch over the little 8 year old boy, struck with an agressive disease.

The next day, I woke up bright and early and rushed over to join the line to the pools at 8am knowing very well that it opened at 9am. When I got there, the line was already very, very long. At 9am, the gates opened but little did I realise was that there were 2 sections of the gates and only the first section managed to go in. Being stuck in the second section, my line did not budge. In the mornings, many of the pools are reserved for the sick, so they are wheeled in from the Accueils and hospitals across the river bank. After the sick were attended to, the second part of the gate opened again and allowed more people into the waiting area. Excited that my line began to move, I was hopeful. However, they closed the barrier and mere 5 people in front of me and we were told that these barriers would open again at 12.30pm and we would be able to enter the waiting area at 2pm.

At about 11.30am, I was ready to get out of the line and just forget about the entire bath, I mean come on, it had been 3 hours already, it had rained, I was wet and cold. If I was alone, I probably would have given up. But hubby was there with me and said I had come all the way here and waited for more than 3 hours, so what difference would another hour make? So all in all, I waited for over 6 hours to get my birthday present. I know for a fact that this was indeed a test as to how much I wanted to do this. After leaving the bath, the calmness and serenity I felt within was worth all the hours spent in that line. 

Saint Bernadette pray for us...

Lady of Lourdes watch over us...