I think it is safe to say that we can be categorised into 2 types of people. Those who get along with their exes and those who don't. I know which category I am in but I don't know how I got there. Perhaps I always felt that when you meet up with your ex its only because you miss the feeling of being together. I really don't understand how you can remain friends after being in a relationship.
Relationships are tumultuous, we'd fight and make up, I mean for that period of time, you wanted no one else. People always say that once you break up that's it, no more feelings involved. But how can you have absolutely no feelings for someone that meant the world to you. You can't control something like feelings, can you?
And at what point did the both of you break up? Didn't one of you break the other so far down to a point you couldn't even breathe? Who initiated? How can you remains friends after all that pain? Doesn't matter if you are the dumper or dumpee. Both parties will take their time to pick up the pieces left of their heart and just soldier on.
All of us cope the best way we can. We find solace in the arms another, some of us take a sabbatical, some of us find refuge in our friends, but whatever way we choose to cope, we shouldn't be judged by you or anyone else. Aren't we two single individuals trying to mourn the loss of someone?
I've personally hated the idea of staying in touch with an ex. It was messy and someone always got hurt. For the longest time, my heart will immediately sink into my stomach whenever I heard that my boyfriend got in touch with his ex. Meeting her was painful enough. But until recently, I always felt like I've been punched in the stomach anytime anyone even mentioned her name.
I have taken it upon myself to get over this horrible feeling by trying to sort out unresolved issues in my past hoping that by clearing out my baggage with help alleviate my issues with the present. All to no avail...
How do you get over an ex? Or how do you get over your boyfriend's ex? A lot of this has to do with your own relationships. I've come to understand that every relationship in your life is a chapter in your story book. They never merge and are separate parts of your life. Most of the time, when people are ready to accept the chapter, they almost never look back.
So as you enter a marriage for instance, all these little worry clouds seem to float away. And you are certain that you are his and he is yours. But what happens if you decide to part ways and get a divorce? And even worse still, you've both got a child together?
How much time do you give each other till you start dating other people? Will you allow your child to meet your ex-husband's new girlfriend? Will you allow your new boyfriend to meet your ex-husband? How does this work?
And what if your ex-husband marries his new girlfriend? Will you attend the wedding? Will you allow your child to attend their wedding? As his second wife, how would you cope with his ex-wife? Will you meet her? Will you keep your husband's wedding album with his first wife in your house?
All these questions have been swirling in my head as I learn about other people's lives and coping with their exes and I started to think that maybe worrying about ex-girlfriends was really not such a big deal at all.
A girlfriend or boyfriend, no matter how serious will never compare to a wife or husband. No matter how serious the relationship was there was obviously something lacking that prevented you from marrying each other and to me, that was the difference. You didn't spend countless hours with a guest list, arguing simply about who should sit where, whether you should serve chicken or beef, or go wedding band shopping together.
So now, this fly that has been bugging me for the longest time, seems to have vanished. My heart doesn't ache every time I hear of her and I don't roll my eyes quite as often as I used to.
Everyone I'm sure has their own weakness in a relationship and I think identifying it may be the first step to overcoming it. Time is definitely a huge factor in this and perhaps talking about it? When you marry someone, you need to start choosing your battles. You shouldn't be fighting about the smallest thing that irritates you because the both of you have decided to spend your entire lives devoted to each other.
So what in the world can you not discuss with him? Remember, a small little thing can become a puss-filled wound, which may eventually infect your entire relationship if it isn't resolved the moment it pops up.
To sum up, I'd like to share with you the lyrics to Adele's First Love.
Relationships are tumultuous, we'd fight and make up, I mean for that period of time, you wanted no one else. People always say that once you break up that's it, no more feelings involved. But how can you have absolutely no feelings for someone that meant the world to you. You can't control something like feelings, can you?
And at what point did the both of you break up? Didn't one of you break the other so far down to a point you couldn't even breathe? Who initiated? How can you remains friends after all that pain? Doesn't matter if you are the dumper or dumpee. Both parties will take their time to pick up the pieces left of their heart and just soldier on.
All of us cope the best way we can. We find solace in the arms another, some of us take a sabbatical, some of us find refuge in our friends, but whatever way we choose to cope, we shouldn't be judged by you or anyone else. Aren't we two single individuals trying to mourn the loss of someone?
I've personally hated the idea of staying in touch with an ex. It was messy and someone always got hurt. For the longest time, my heart will immediately sink into my stomach whenever I heard that my boyfriend got in touch with his ex. Meeting her was painful enough. But until recently, I always felt like I've been punched in the stomach anytime anyone even mentioned her name.
I have taken it upon myself to get over this horrible feeling by trying to sort out unresolved issues in my past hoping that by clearing out my baggage with help alleviate my issues with the present. All to no avail...
How do you get over an ex? Or how do you get over your boyfriend's ex? A lot of this has to do with your own relationships. I've come to understand that every relationship in your life is a chapter in your story book. They never merge and are separate parts of your life. Most of the time, when people are ready to accept the chapter, they almost never look back.
So as you enter a marriage for instance, all these little worry clouds seem to float away. And you are certain that you are his and he is yours. But what happens if you decide to part ways and get a divorce? And even worse still, you've both got a child together?
How much time do you give each other till you start dating other people? Will you allow your child to meet your ex-husband's new girlfriend? Will you allow your new boyfriend to meet your ex-husband? How does this work?
And what if your ex-husband marries his new girlfriend? Will you attend the wedding? Will you allow your child to attend their wedding? As his second wife, how would you cope with his ex-wife? Will you meet her? Will you keep your husband's wedding album with his first wife in your house?
All these questions have been swirling in my head as I learn about other people's lives and coping with their exes and I started to think that maybe worrying about ex-girlfriends was really not such a big deal at all.
A girlfriend or boyfriend, no matter how serious will never compare to a wife or husband. No matter how serious the relationship was there was obviously something lacking that prevented you from marrying each other and to me, that was the difference. You didn't spend countless hours with a guest list, arguing simply about who should sit where, whether you should serve chicken or beef, or go wedding band shopping together.
So now, this fly that has been bugging me for the longest time, seems to have vanished. My heart doesn't ache every time I hear of her and I don't roll my eyes quite as often as I used to.
Everyone I'm sure has their own weakness in a relationship and I think identifying it may be the first step to overcoming it. Time is definitely a huge factor in this and perhaps talking about it? When you marry someone, you need to start choosing your battles. You shouldn't be fighting about the smallest thing that irritates you because the both of you have decided to spend your entire lives devoted to each other.
So what in the world can you not discuss with him? Remember, a small little thing can become a puss-filled wound, which may eventually infect your entire relationship if it isn't resolved the moment it pops up.
To sum up, I'd like to share with you the lyrics to Adele's First Love.
So little to say but so much time,
Despite my empty mouth the words are in my mind.
Please wear the face, the one where you smile,
Because you lighten up my heart when I start to cry.
Forgive me first love, but I'm tired.
I need to get away to feel again.
Try to understand why,
don't get so close to change my mind.
Please wipe that look out of your eyes,
it's bribing me to doubt myself;
Simply, it's tiring.
This love has dried up and stayed behind,
And if I stay I'll be a lie
Then choke on words I'd always hide.
Excuse me first love, but we're through.
I need to taste a kiss from someone new.
Forgive me first love, but I'm too tired.
I'm bored to say the least and I, I lack desire.
Forgive me first love,
Forgive me first love,
Forgive me first love,
Forgive me first love,
Forgive me,
Forgive me first love,
Forgive me first love
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