Saturday, April 6, 2013

Shopping for Doctors is not as fun as Shopping for Clothes!

I decided that I needed to shop around for a doctor who can deliver my twins vaginally because not many of the 'younger' doctors do it. I'm guessing it's easier for them, they get to schedule it, they're in and out in an hour or 2 tops and they don't need to wait around while you labour. While I understand that if there are complications and if the twins are not co-operating with mommy and are in difficult positions to come out through the natural passage then I understand that I'll have to undergo a c-section due to the circumstances. However, I do not understand doctors who say that they exclusively perform c-sections for women who have more than one baby regardless of their positions or not.

Again, I don't really have many friends who have had twins and all of them have had amazing births, some gave birth in their bathtub at home, some had an epidural, some had an emergency c-section and some used hypnobirthing techniques and swore by it. So I was very confused when my present obgyn told me that she is more comfortable performing a c-section on me.

Now I am not being stubborn, I just feel that it's my body and it's my right to choose how I want my babies to be born. I would like to have the peace of mind knowing that my doctor did everything she could before deciding to go with the c-section. Plus, I'd like to be as mobile as I can after delivery because I have not one but 2 babies to feed, change, bathe, etc. Now this is where you may think I'm trying to kill myself but I do not want a live-in maid as well.

So started the shopping for an obgyn who could deliver my precious little ones. Oh, and another reason for looking for a new obgyn was that we needed a hospital closer to home. Sunway is quite a distance for me to labour all the way in the car!

I met up with Dr Ashar in Ampang Puteri, Dr Jean Woo in Gleneagles and Dr Paul Tay at Prince Court Medical Centre. Dr Ashar and Dr Jean Woo were wonderful, they patiently answered all my questions, calmly explained the techniques they'd be using to deliver the twins as if I was a doctor myself (I really appreciate when doctors do this, I hate it when doctors talk to me as if I don't understand anything because I'm not a doctor. I mean hello, we have google!) and they comforted me and told me I had nothing to worry about with twins. Many twins have been delivered naturally if the twins were in the right positions.

The came Dr Paul Tay who was a complete dick! Forgive my french but I left Prince fuming mad because of his bedside manner or lack thereof! First and foremost, he was typing all of our notes into his computer, which meant he hardly looked at us when he spoke to us (this is a huge pet peeve of mine! I mean we are paying you for your time and service, the least you could do is look at us in the eye and talk to us, this is our babies we're discussing!), secondly, rather than understanding that the whole reason I came was to discuss whether I could deliver vaginally or not he kept pushing for a c-section, saying that his tolerance was very low and at the slightest complication he would do the c-section, and thirdly he kept bringing up numbers, which started to make me feel like he felt like we couldn't afford it. Hello! We came to Prince fully aware of the costs, IDOIT! And he said if I deliver in May (why would he want to jinx me like that!??!!) we'd have to probably pay about RM 30,000 per baby so if we don't have that kind of budget to not even bother coming to Prince if my water breaks early and to go straight to a government hospital and deliver because transfers are tough! Urrrgh...my blood is boiling just typing this.

I was so upset when I left Prince, first and foremost at least practice some tact, don't have to be so money oriented, at the end of the day we want our babies to be delivered safely to the best hands we see fit. We don't care about the money, but also be comforting towards the mother, don't talk to me as if I'm some roast turkey you just can't wait to carve.

I was so disappointed that we won't be delivering at Prince, the rooms are so purty!

Disclaimer: I have nothing against caesarean births but I believe that every woman has the right to decide how she would like to give birth. She owns every right to decline or refuse whatever she is not comfortable with. We need to change this mindset that doctors know everything and we have no say. My advise to future mommies out there is to read up as much as you can and meet up with as many doctors as you want before making a decision. Birth is no joke and there is never one way of doing something. 

13 comments:

  1. Hello, I chanced upon your blog and I must say I completely agree with this post. I'm a medic now, and just did a lot of research on how elective C-sections are statistically proven (based on a lot of researches, not just a few random ones) to cause more complications. I'm studying in England and the doctors here never dream of doing an elective C-section just because it's more 'convenient' for them(wth?!), and I can't believe that you had the experience of doctors prioritizing their convenience over yours. If I may suggest a gynae, have you seen Dr Hamid Arshat? He works in Damansara, and I had the privilege of working with him and coincidentally how he delivered twins via natural birth :) Hope it helps! Good luck

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  2. Hi - i truly agree with your experiences with Dr Paul..he is such a pain!! He is not friendly and rude at times! Have you tried consulting
    Dato' Dr. Siti Zaliha Zainal from Sime Darby Medical Centre Subang Jaya..heard she is good in her work!

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  3. Thank you so much for your comments and recommendations! Much appreciated.

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  4. Ohh god im worried..as im seeing dr paul...i agree with u him starring at the monitor more than us while having conversations :(

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  5. Don't worry, it's never too late to change doctors. If you are uncomfortable with him, I strongly urge you to have a chat with other doctors just to see if you get along better with someone else. Thinking about delivery is already stressful enough, you should be able to trust your doctor 200% as both your life and your baby's life is in their hands. All the best!

    On a brighter note, I have a few friends who have delivered with Dr Paul and they seem pretty happy with him. So to each his own. :)

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  6. Hi January, I had a smiliar experience with Dr.Paul. He was rude and had no empathy. After my visit, I wrote a complaint letter to the hospital admin. Its so disheartening to hear that despite my official complaint, things havent changed much with Dr.Paul. My bad experience with him was last year

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  7. I'm so glad i stumbled upon your blog as I was doing research on Dr Paul. I've read some positive reviews about him in older blog posts but the latest comments just really made up my mind about him. Guess ill go cancel the appointment now. thanks y'all.

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  8. Hi January, I was supposed to see him today for the first time and have just cancelled! So glad you shed some insights on him; we definitely need someone who doesn't push for c section and is not rude...thank you!

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  9. Hi, I didn't have very good experience with Dr. Paul Tay either. My hubby and I just went to see him yesterday and his response was basically "google it" when we asked him about the possible side effects of certain birth control, etc. He did not really take the effort to find out my problem and was rushing through the consultation. Well, if I am to google it, why did I bother to come and see him for consultation in the first place? Also, we had asked him about prevention or anything we can do to prepare should we decide to try for a baby soon (given diabetes and high blood pressure) runs in my family, again, he told us that there's nothing we can do to prevent it. Was pretty disappointed at his responses and felt that he had pretty much failed as someone whom practices medicine with his "tak apa" and "go figure out yourself" attitude.

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  10. My wife and I had multiple consecutive miscarriages before we finally had our baby girl. Each pregnancy we went to see different doctors hoping they could identify whether there was a problem or know how we could prevent a miscarriage from happening. I won't name names but we encountered doctors who were not interested at all in looking into it or did the D&C poorly. During the pregnancy before our baby girl we were seeing a doctor who was always so busy that whenever we entered the room we would feel rushed to get out as he had so many patients. So when my wife started bleeding and the dreaded miscarriage process was happening again we sought a different doctor and went to see Dr Paul Tay. He was very understanding and explained to us the whole process and comforted her especially right before entering the operating theatre when she was lying on the hospital bed crying. He even stopped on his way out after the surgery to inform me that it was successful which I appreciated very much. His operating skills is top notch as my wife recovered so much faster compared to the previous D&Cs. After that we ran tests with him and when the results were normal we decided to try again. Maybe's he's our lucky charm cos this time we got our baby girl. He was very careful throughout the whole pregnancy and even answered the two emails that I sent to him when she was having very bad morning sickness which lasted throughout the day for a number of weeks. When my wife's due date was nearing we saw him more frequently and he took every precaution to ensure that we had a safe delivery. That is my first hand experience with him and when my wife and I have our second baby we will be going to see him with a smile on our faces cos we know we are in good hands.

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    1. Hi, great to hear you had a good experience with Dr Paul.

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  11. Same experience with Dr. Paul - very disappointed and wouldn't recommended to anyone.

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  12. Same as well. Had bad experience with Dr. Paul Tay and felt he brushed the issue aside and was mocking the situation to a certain extend. I actually filed a complain with Prince and someone did call me back within the same day to find out what actually happened. Brownie points back to Prince. Nonetheless, i would think twice about going back to Prince again

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