Trust. 5 little letters that make relationships last or otherwise. When you are born, you are born into a bubble. An indestructible bubble made out of the love of your parents. I grew up in a wonderful bubble filled with love, art and beauty and had the blessing of sharing this bubble with my sister Claudia.
Claudia wasn't the most ordinary of children. She had imaginary friends, a dramatic way of expressing herself and was my best friend. We'd share the back seats of my dad's Volvo on the way to the east cost, play silly word-games and sing-along to the music on the radio. However, when I grew older, I got other friends and Claudia didn't take this so well. She was very possessive of me and always tried to share me with my friends.
Like any other big sister, I always locked Claudia out of my room. I locked Claudia out of my room for many, many years and I truly regret it to this day. My parents added one more sibling into our bubble, our little brother Nathaniel. Claudia immediately became the middle child. Our parents and Nat moved away to Bangkok and Claudia and I transformed into 2 very separate individuals.
Throughout university, I was very busy balancing academics and dance. I had no time to take care of Claudia. She excelled in Uni, attaining Distinctions upon Distinctions. I was caught up in being a rebellious teenager and my family unit was shaken for the first time.
Claudia advised me endlessly, she never judged, she argued with me and listened tirelessly to my defense and sometimes even took my side. I remember being terribly angry all the time. My actions were at points even abusive. I did not know how to express my anger let alone control it. Yet, Claudia was always at my side. Supporting me, being there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on.
Slowly, I grew out of that horrible phase and started appreciating the people who really did 'have-my-back'. My family. I'm now trying to reciprocate all the love and care showered upon me by my dear Claudia.
I try my best to listen to your problems, hug you when you are down and cook you a warm meal so that you don't miss mummy so much. You were a star during the wedding and so, so happy for me. That was all I needed.
But as you grow, you start to realise that you should not allow just anyone into your bubble. Some people are out there, waiting to get in to try and destruct it from the inside but my mother has always taught me to erase these people from your heart and mind. When you have a negative feeling or thought about someone, you are planting a seed and every thought to this person fertilises this seed producing a huge tree of hate and everything nasty.
There are people who hold a grudge on you for no reason at all. I mean what can a harmless 15 year old do to a middle-aged mother and wife? Beats me...
There are people who are jealous. I've lived my life surrounded by incredibly green-skinned people but again, I take a deep breath and brush them away.
There are even people who start off by doing things for you only hoping to gain a ten-fold return. Why they help people in the first place never seems to puzzle me...
But if you are just a little sensitive to those around you, even you can start to tell the good apart from the bad. This distilling process may be tough, but once you are on the other side, you are filled with nothing but happiness and ease.
A few people were a little wary upon hearing that I would be getting married in less than a year after meeting Ray. But I remember how brutally honest we were with each other during on of our first dates and I instantly knew that I could trust my entire life with this man.
It's really all the little things that he does that makes me believe that he may never hurt me. From what I felt when we first met to what I know now, convinces me 150% that he never will. All because of 5 little letters...
Claudia wasn't the most ordinary of children. She had imaginary friends, a dramatic way of expressing herself and was my best friend. We'd share the back seats of my dad's Volvo on the way to the east cost, play silly word-games and sing-along to the music on the radio. However, when I grew older, I got other friends and Claudia didn't take this so well. She was very possessive of me and always tried to share me with my friends.
Like any other big sister, I always locked Claudia out of my room. I locked Claudia out of my room for many, many years and I truly regret it to this day. My parents added one more sibling into our bubble, our little brother Nathaniel. Claudia immediately became the middle child. Our parents and Nat moved away to Bangkok and Claudia and I transformed into 2 very separate individuals.
Throughout university, I was very busy balancing academics and dance. I had no time to take care of Claudia. She excelled in Uni, attaining Distinctions upon Distinctions. I was caught up in being a rebellious teenager and my family unit was shaken for the first time.
Claudia advised me endlessly, she never judged, she argued with me and listened tirelessly to my defense and sometimes even took my side. I remember being terribly angry all the time. My actions were at points even abusive. I did not know how to express my anger let alone control it. Yet, Claudia was always at my side. Supporting me, being there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on.
Slowly, I grew out of that horrible phase and started appreciating the people who really did 'have-my-back'. My family. I'm now trying to reciprocate all the love and care showered upon me by my dear Claudia.
I try my best to listen to your problems, hug you when you are down and cook you a warm meal so that you don't miss mummy so much. You were a star during the wedding and so, so happy for me. That was all I needed.
But as you grow, you start to realise that you should not allow just anyone into your bubble. Some people are out there, waiting to get in to try and destruct it from the inside but my mother has always taught me to erase these people from your heart and mind. When you have a negative feeling or thought about someone, you are planting a seed and every thought to this person fertilises this seed producing a huge tree of hate and everything nasty.
There are people who hold a grudge on you for no reason at all. I mean what can a harmless 15 year old do to a middle-aged mother and wife? Beats me...
There are people who are jealous. I've lived my life surrounded by incredibly green-skinned people but again, I take a deep breath and brush them away.
There are even people who start off by doing things for you only hoping to gain a ten-fold return. Why they help people in the first place never seems to puzzle me...
But if you are just a little sensitive to those around you, even you can start to tell the good apart from the bad. This distilling process may be tough, but once you are on the other side, you are filled with nothing but happiness and ease.
A few people were a little wary upon hearing that I would be getting married in less than a year after meeting Ray. But I remember how brutally honest we were with each other during on of our first dates and I instantly knew that I could trust my entire life with this man.
It's really all the little things that he does that makes me believe that he may never hurt me. From what I felt when we first met to what I know now, convinces me 150% that he never will. All because of 5 little letters...
I am truly moved and inspired by your 5 letter words "T R U S T" because that is what makes a relationship work and last till the end of time. A blessed and happy married life to you dear January Low. May God bless the both of you and be with you guys always.
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