The Akram Khan Company

Sigh.

That's all I could muster after 70 mins of mind blowing awesomeness. I'm not kidding when I say I burst into tears every time a haunting image of the dancers from the Akram Khan Company formed in my head. Pieces of humble pie stuck in my throat, I found it hard to breathe.

Yes. They were that awesome.

To be perfectly honest with you, I was very disappointed when I found out that Akram himself was not performing and even more gutted when he was not even there for the show. I believe he is busy with another production in France but I did not miss Mr Khan last night because he was there in the form of excellence by his company. The show that I watched has been etched in my brain, heart and soul with indelible ink.

If you ask me what was so great about the show, I'd find it almost impossible for me to describe. It was something you had to experience live. Of course, I could tell you that the costume, movements and lighting reminded me of Pina Bausch's Le Sacre Du Printemps (Rite of Spring). The muted colours of their costume and lighting, the simple, deliberate movements depicting anguish and pain almost verging on excruciating agony seemed to hit me hard. 

This to me, is what you call contemporary dance. Pure non-self-indulgent dance, simple yet effective movements that was abstract enough for everyone to interpret on their own. Simple yet stunning enough for you to just sit back and enjoy the aesthetics.

I saw images of a man slumped over a large rock left to bleed to death, I saw dictators using people like puppets dangling on a string, I saw a nation trying to stand up and fight for their rights. I saw so many current issues, that were represented by basic formations and workshop exercises I've participated in countless times. Classic example of Less Is More. Something a lot of us should chant in the mirror every morning while we brush our teeth.

The piece was tight. No one danced without reason, everything tap of the translucent membrane-like plastic sheet that stood alone on the bare stage was created a different shape, every leap and caress so convincing that I sat unmoving on the edge of my seat for the entire 70 minutes. I did not breathe and it took a great deal of restraint to sit still. Not because I was restless, because as a dancer, my body seemed to resonate with the music and the energy emanating from the stage to my core.

The music, composed by Nitin Sawhney complemented the dance from start to end. It added just the right amount to the atmosphere and climaxed and dipped where it needed to. 

I know it sounds like I'm hard-selling this show but knowing that this show was declined from being staged in Kuala Lumpur Performing Arts Centre and Istana Budaya equally shames and infuriates me immensely. What sort of programme director doesn't make space for something with the name Akram Khan in front of it?

Sigh.

After the performance I slumped in my seat feeling utterly defeated. Honestly, I wanted to give up. How can I continue dancing knowing that I am so far away from 'that'? I was in tears and I felt very, very sad.

I know that I am in control of my destiny. I know that you can't dream of winning the lottery without buying a ticket. I know, I know, I know...

But I need to be convinced that the next thing I do will blow my audience away. It's hard though, when you've been performing for over 15 years. Right now, I still don't feel like I have something with that sort of depth and power. I know it's there somewhere within me...

Sigh.

I died from minerality and became vegetable;

And from vegetativeness I died and became animal.

I died from animality and became man.

Then why fear disappearance through death?

Next time I shall die Bringing forth wings and feathers like angels;

After that, soaring higher than angels -

What you cannot imagine,

I shall be that.

Rumi