The Premiere of rehab

Going on last is stressful. You watch each group go in, you hear the applause and then they come out and the next group goes in. It didn't help that every group that came out said, "Whoa, there was A LOT of people in there!" Anxiety that started 2 days before the show continued growing till it formed a huge knot in my throat that by the time the group before us headed in I swear I almost threw up. Thank God I had Rathi with me. But I could tell that Rathi was nervous too.

We took a huge deep breath and exhaled forcefully. "Whoosh!" We did that three times trying to force all the butterflies out. We shook our limbs hoping to shake away all the nerves. It was coming, it was near. This was it, the 2 month of prep, the 5 years I haven't performed in Kuala Lumpur, the first time being on stage as independent artistes, the first time being on stage as a mother.

So much friggin pressure.

But, just before we went in to standby I took Rathi and told her that this was for us. rehab was for us. From the beginning, we agreed to just have fun and not have any expectations. This was a special piece. It was us. From start to finish, we wanted to show you who we were and who we are now.

Rathi and January.

We held each other tightly before going on to sync our energies and the tears started welling. We pulled away and said ok, here we go...

We walked to our spots, the lights came on and everything that happened after that was surreal. Before we realised it, it was over. We had done it.

After we took our bow we saw a sea of familiar faces, all with tears in their eyes. They knew, they understood how long it had taken for us to get here and they understood how important this piece was to us. Then our tears came and it was beautiful. Everyone seemed to take home a little piece of us, our heart and that was exactly what we wanted to give. We didn't have anything to hide anymore, we were healed.

I don't have to feel uncomfortable the next time someone asks me whether I am still dancing. I can stand tall on both feet and confidently say, yes.