dearest readers,
some of you i know and some of you i don't but i just want to thank you for leaving comments for me to read. thank you for not giving me solutions and thank you for just listening to me vent. in this age of social media where everything is packaged so nicely it's very easy to mistake 'this' for reality. nobody sees the hard work behind every perfect post that is shared. nobody sees the intent behind these images of joy. nobody really know what the other is going through.
i am just like you, i'm a mother, a wife and a woman who is struggling to come to terms with these roles. i started dancing professionally at such a young age but at the same time i never really had the chance to live and grow to become my own person before i had children so i am basically growing and maturing alongside my children and husband and most of the time i really feel like i am drowning because i don't know if what i am feeling is right or wrong. i feel useless on so many levels but at the same time i have to be strong and accept that this is my life, which really isn't that bad. so many other people have it worse than i do and i get that but it doesn't mean that how i feel doesn't matter.
i grew up to believe that the worse thing to happen to a woman is getting married and having a family because what happens is that you become ordinary and that the glamourous life of the dancer gets lost. but now that i am here i have seen so many incredible women with families living their lives intertwined with their art.
perhaps i am being to hard on myself as my children are not even 3 years old. i am sure things will get better as they grow but these feelings right now, this sense of sinking is all part of the journey we call life and i hope to look back one day on these feelings, acknowledge them as they will form the person i am going to be and hopefully jade will also come across this post when she is feeling at her lowest and understand that to be a woman is indeed an incredible gift.
as you can tell by this post the previous rant has already made me feel heaps better.
thank you for reading. thank you for making me feel that i am not alone. thank you for making me feel like what i have to say is important. thank you for your trust. thank you for not judging me.
thank you.
january
some of you i know and some of you i don't but i just want to thank you for leaving comments for me to read. thank you for not giving me solutions and thank you for just listening to me vent. in this age of social media where everything is packaged so nicely it's very easy to mistake 'this' for reality. nobody sees the hard work behind every perfect post that is shared. nobody sees the intent behind these images of joy. nobody really know what the other is going through.
i am just like you, i'm a mother, a wife and a woman who is struggling to come to terms with these roles. i started dancing professionally at such a young age but at the same time i never really had the chance to live and grow to become my own person before i had children so i am basically growing and maturing alongside my children and husband and most of the time i really feel like i am drowning because i don't know if what i am feeling is right or wrong. i feel useless on so many levels but at the same time i have to be strong and accept that this is my life, which really isn't that bad. so many other people have it worse than i do and i get that but it doesn't mean that how i feel doesn't matter.
i grew up to believe that the worse thing to happen to a woman is getting married and having a family because what happens is that you become ordinary and that the glamourous life of the dancer gets lost. but now that i am here i have seen so many incredible women with families living their lives intertwined with their art.
perhaps i am being to hard on myself as my children are not even 3 years old. i am sure things will get better as they grow but these feelings right now, this sense of sinking is all part of the journey we call life and i hope to look back one day on these feelings, acknowledge them as they will form the person i am going to be and hopefully jade will also come across this post when she is feeling at her lowest and understand that to be a woman is indeed an incredible gift.
as you can tell by this post the previous rant has already made me feel heaps better.
thank you for reading. thank you for making me feel that i am not alone. thank you for making me feel like what i have to say is important. thank you for your trust. thank you for not judging me.
thank you.
january
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