Coming Home With Twins, Twice As Overwhelming

Published on makchic.com on Oct 2013

After I delivered my babies, I stayed in the hospital for three nights, which was wonderful because the nurses took care of my every need. With a click of a button, my babies’ diapers were changed and I could get a cup of hot Milo and crackers any time of day. But on my last night I started to worry – like any new mother would – about what to expect once we got home. More importantly, who would make me a cup of Milo if I got hungry at 4am?

I’m not exaggerating but the first 24 hours at home was a complete nightmare. The babies were inconsolable, I was engorged and we had no idea what to do. Luckily I followed a friend’s suggestion to arrange for a midwife to do a home visit a day after we came back from the hospital. The midwife taught me a few latching techniques, how to tandem feed the twins and how I had to feed them at two-hourly intervals rather than the suggested three- to four-hourly intervals. And what a difference the midwife’s home visit made. The babies became easier to handle and we were assured that we were on the right track. I must also add that I didn’t want to hire additional help, so it was just my mum, hubby and I against the two bubs.

We got into a rhythm: bathing them in the morning; feeding them every two hours; sleeping whenever I could; eating when they slept; and changing them (while nursing!) into their jammies by about 6pm. The first two weeks became easier every day and we were in high spirits. I even welcomed visitors though every time people came over I was nursing. It helped that my husband and mum are my pillars of strength because they kept me sane and encouraged me to keep on going.

I must admit that I’m a big control freak and love doing things myself; but with twins, I had to relinquish control and allow people to help out because it’s impossible to do everything yourself. I learned that there’s absolutely no shame in asking for help and the more hands in the beginning the better.

After three weeks of exclusive breastfeeding, I reached a point where I felt that all that I was doing was feeding the babies. I couldn’t do anything else, let alone sleep. It started to take a toll on me. Sleep deprivation and postnatal hormones can be a very scary combination. Before I could hit rock bottom, my midwife suggested supplementing a feed or two so that I could get some sleep and keep my milk supply up. I broke down and had a weepy episode when I heard this, but I’ll save that story for another day.

Having my husband around the house was a huge boost for me just for the emotional support because the first couple of weeks are when you are the most vulnerable. Plus, it was a great opportunity for him to bond with the babies during the initial stages. So if possible try to use your hubby’s annual leave after you come back from the hospital because some company’s paternity leave policy is only two days.

The one thing that no one warned me about was how I’d feel after delivery. My body felt so out of whack, I felt drained, weak and very heavy.

My mum prepared traditional Chinese confinement food, which uses a lot of sesame oil, ginger (but not too much if you’re breastfeeding because it causes jaundice) and herbs to bring heat into your body (you lose a lot of heat after birth). I also acquired the services of a lady who does traditional Malay massage and prepares fresh jamu which helps with the healing process. After a little more than a month after giving birth, I felt stronger and perhaps even healthier than I was pre-pregnancy because of all the goodness and care during the confinement period.

I’m now just about to reach the two-month mark with the twins. There are good days and bad days but nothing unmanageable. Every time I’m alone and faced with two hysterical babies, I take a deep breath. I try as best as I can to speak to them calmly and explain to them that mummy only has two hands, and can only feed them one at a time. I tell them they need to be patient and that mummy will attend to them as soon as she can because mummy is only human after all.